Off Topic – Wendy’s New Boneless Wings

So for the second time in a month, I find myself in a Wendy’s, after a 25+ year hiatus. I didn’t set out to get some Wendy’s food today, and at the moment I pulled into the Wendy’s on Sandy Blvd, all I really needed was a bathroom.

But recently several people sent me articles about a deliberate social media grass roots campaign Wendy’s conducted to introduce their new boneless “Wings”. I am enamored with this type of marketing, so I thought I would see what all the hubbub was about.

Keeping in mind I don’t like wings, per se, but I do love that buffalo glop (try it on burgers or shrimp!), I approached ordering with some trepidation, and after squinting at the menu board much like Mr. Magoo would, I ordered the small (not combo) order of the Boneless Wings with “Bold Buffalo flavor”, which Wendy’s describes as: “100% tender and juicy all-white chicken hand-tossed in our signature buffalo sauce made with aged cayenne pepper.”

Distracted by something (oh, look a chicken!), I didn’t watch them prep the “wings”, so I don’t know if they were hand tossed or not. Or from what hand to which hand? One can only hope the workers heeded the warning signs in the bathrooms.

The presentation (at $3.99) was in a black plastic tray with clear cover, and it contained eight boneless “wings” will a nominal amount of sauce.

I popped one in my mouth and chewed it slowly. The breading was pretty crispy, and I like fried things to be crispy, but this might have been just over the edge of “crispness.” In other words, a little hard….more “crunchy” than “crisp.” The Buffalo (does that need a cap?) flavor was good, if there was cayenne, I didn’t feel its effect.

My second “wing”, I bit in half to see what was hiding under that coating, and by all appearances, these morsels are solid white chicken pieces, not pressed, chopped, formed. Unless they’ve found a way to simulate animal muscle in that process, which, come to think of it, they must be able to, I was at some crappy buffet in West Virginia once, and all the steaks were identical, shape, trim, and fat. Whatever.

I’ve been kinda “over” chicken for awhile, especially the ones juiced up on brine, that texture makes me nuts. But this was OK.

When the chicken was gone, there was just a smattering of sauce left in the tray, an indication of maybe they were, in fact, hand-tossed. I might get them again sometime. I might even try their Sweet & Spicy Asian variety, which they say has “a spicy blend of Asian chilies, real pepper flakes and a hint of garlic.”

It’s kinda funny….I seem to ramble on most about the things I like least.


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