On their home page, Moretti’s poses the question: “Are we a sit-down restaurant? Pizza joint? Sports bar? Banquet Hall?” And I came away asking myself the same questions. The site further sez: “Something for everyone” is kind of cliché, but we can’t help ourselves.” Which reminds me of another cliche, “jack of all trades, master of none.” (Incidentally, to add one more “option”, late nights this location turns into a dance club, open until 4AM).
Part of the massive Ala Carte Entertainment group, I am sure the company rakes in millions, and this large suburban location certainly helps fill the coffers.
It’s Friday nite, and eschewing the usual Chicagoland dining out choice of heading for a fish fry, I check out the LITH location of Moretti’s, hadn’t been there before, had a choice of four different pizza places at that street intersection alone, and Moretti’s – luck of the draw.
It’s huge, and you arrive in the front door, are greeted (hopefully) by a host/hostess, to the right is a large bar with dozens of television screens blaring with sports, and ahead are several dining rooms including outdoor spaces overlooking scenic Randall Road.
The massive menu offers everything from appetizers to pizza, hamburgers, sandwiches, wraps, Italian entree dinners, soups, salads, steaks, chicken, fish, desserts, and ‘family style dinners.’ (one from column A, two from column B). I imagine most people take some time with the menu.
Our server wasn’t present. Oh, she was physically there, but she was “phoning it in” that night, just not really paying attention to her guests. Tracking her down became one of the games of the night – not easy in the cavernous establishment. What always interests me is why people go into the “hospitality” business if they don’t find being “hospitable” easy and natural. Our server had all the assets to have a great tip night, personable, great smile; but she just wasn’t interested in engaging or taking care of her parties – even the larger tables which should generate a nice tip.
We started with the onion rings, “thick, hand cut coconut breaded with sweet coconut and served with sweet chili sauce.” $6.99 for six rings. The rings were pretty ok, thick as advertised, a panko-like coating. For me, the sweet sauce isn’t the best choice for an accompaniement, a savory version might be more interesting.
The Apple Pecan salad is a chef’s dream turned into a nightmare. Creative, yes. Does it work? No. Baby spinach, candied pecans, bacon, artichoke hearts, marinated apple slices, roasted peppers, raisins, provolone and honey balsamic vinagrette. What were they thinking? What was I thinking? Ok, I wasn’t, somebody else ordered it, and I’m glad it didn’t come around to my side of the table. This might have worked with fewer and higher quality, fresher ingredients, but as it was/is served, it’s just a mess. A ten dollar mess.
Pizza? My personal ‘joke’ has always been there is “no such thing as a bad pizza.” I’ll stick to that here, but I learned there are pizzas I certainly don’t care for. Despite an appearance to please, Moretti’s pizza is food for the masses, designed and constructed to offend no one, and as such, has no flavor in the indidivual ingredients, nor when they come together.
Corn meal. A ‘trick’ in the pizza business to make a crispier crust, a faster bake….this dough prep overdoes it on corn meal, and it doesn’t make for a pleasurable experience. It does make a crispy cracker-like crust, but the corn taste comes through the wheat flour as well as spills off the bottom. Ick. Toppings are from any average pizzeria supplier, little bits of sausage and canned olives. And north of $20.
Regular readers know my personal test for quality pizza is how it tastes the next morning (now). Answer? No better or worse. I just had one slice. Unusual for me, I’m tossing the rest.
- Massive facility with zero ambience
- Service near to non-existent
- Mediocre food
Sounds like a recipe for success on the American restaurant scene. But if you’re OK with this type of food, at a check for over $50 for a pizza, salad, appy and one beer, you’d be far better off to out a couple of times at any of the fast casual chains offering two dinners for $20 or whatever the current promotion is.
It would seem, to me, that the Ala Carte Entertainment group is primarily in the bar business, and serves food as a sideline. They should think about giving up the sideline.
I try to stay on the positive side in my reviews, and generally find something redeeming about any stop; sorry to say I was S-O-L in doing that here.
(Eds note: I never read other reviews before I publish mine, but on occasion, look at some after the fact. It would appear my feelings about this joint are not all that unique. It would appear that the organization needs to work on training and motivation).