Some people say “eat where the cops eat.” I say “eat where they take senior citizens, it’s bound to be ok and a good value.” OK, I don’t say that, and I wouldn’t really hunt that kind of place down, probably means no salt on the tables, and no deep fried food or gravy on the menu.
But I was driving through Wilbur, Washington (I can never say or hear that word without thinking of “Willllllllllllllllllllllbr” being whinnied by Mr. Ed).
And but what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a half-burnt out neon that said “Billy Burger”. Slam on brakes, skid across gravel parking lot, come to rest right in front of the county sheriff getting out of his car….wow, cops AND seniors (a senior bus was there, and the place was aflurry with blue hairs). (When they weren’t waiting in line for the bathroom) (Note to self, pee on seat.) Wilbur is known for more than Billy Burgers, it being the center of a recent spate of crop circles, hopefully formed by extra-terrestrials. As such, Billy Burger promptly added the “Alien Burger with Invasion Fries” (bacon, Swiss, grilled mushrooms and mayo, lettuce and tomato) to their menu. But I went with the namesake “Billy Burger” (double meat, Swiss, mayo, relish, pickle, lettuce, tomato, onion). The patties are pre-formed, taken from the meat cooler next to the griddle, dropped on to sizzling stage, smashed once, flipped. Cooking doesn’t take long, and cook moves the patties to a slightly buttered, grilled Franz bun, before adding the condiments. (Did you know Portland’s Franz Bakery invented the hamburger bun? So who else would you pick for a supplier in the Northwest?)
Fry choice is varied, some at extra cost, standard frozen fries, fresh cut, fajita fries, tots, rings, fried cheese or mushrooms. I opted for tots, which the cook took from the freezer in a preportioned serving size baggie, and dumped them into the fryer until they were crispy brown.
To keep your attention while you are waiting on your burger, Billy Burger has one of the largest collections of salt and pepper shakers I have ever seen. I have a gaggle of them myself, but these put my set to shame!
I collected my brown bag and moved to one of the picnic tables outside, next to the sheriff’s car, and within eyesight of the senior bus, so I could catch all the action! And the burger? Nice. Juicy, crispy edges, like Fatburger. Quality condiments, couldn’t finish it all. Tots extra crispy, to my liking. Diet soft drink to wash it down.
Great burger, sunny picnic table, and a view of all those blue-haired hotties. What a day. Whether you’re in the mood for crop circles or onion rings, meander on up to Wilbur for a Billy Burger.
Billy Burger Review