Portland, OR – John’s Incredible Pizza

(Spoiler alert) John’s Incredible Pizza…. isn’t.

A massive buffet and games palace awaits brave parents who wish to spare the rod and spoil their children silly, as kids will love, love, love this.

Like a massive “Chuck E. Cheese”, but with a couple of rides thrown into the arcade mix (A “Tilt a Whirl” type thing and Bumper Cars), John’s first outpost out of its home California base is located in suburban Portland near Washington Square Mall.

Housed inside a former Circuit City, the “right side” of the hall is comprised of the buffet lines (pizza, hot pasta, salads and desert bars) with “themed” dining rooms open to the public.

To the “left” is the game hall and private party rooms, with a large public seating area where you can take your food and beverages (beer and wine available) to watch your kiddies play the games, run through massive amounts of money to purchase pre-loaded cards to play the games, and stare wantingly at a bevy of prizes and awards that will be just beyond their reach at a ticket redemption counter.

Mrs. Burgerdogboy and her visiting sis chose John’s as a destination to celebrate little sis’s bday, probably on the basis of “well it looks fun, and pizza is a way to win friends and influence people” (meaning me).

And they were right, on both counts, they had fun with the games, we came away with the ubiquitous souvenir from the foto booth, and Burgedogboy is always down for buffets, especially pizza-centric ones.

As for the pizza? Meh. While John’s offers a wide variety of topping choices on the buffet, they won’t win any prizes for quality or flavor, but then they aren’t out to win awards, just to fill bellies of all ages. Buffet purchase is required for entrance, and most hours of the day, it’ll cost you $10 a pop for adults, $6 for children.

There is an LTO lunch offer at a flat $5, and buffet purchase does include unlimited food and drinks (non-alcoholic). Getting stiff on beers will cost you $3.50 – $6.75 for a glass.

Bonus for you parents that want to really get your kids wound up, the drinks bar includes unlimited Icee’s.

One also has the option of a bundled ticket purchase including the buffet and game/ride tix – these run up to $35.

John’s passes the test for a safe and clean environment to take your ankle biters,  but supervision would be required for toddler-sized ones.   In other words, your children would have the most fun if accompanied by their parent’s debit cards to maximize game and ride play.

I imagine this place is chock-a-block packed on weekends, but on a Monday nite, it was curmudgeon friendly.

Parents (a set of two with two toddlers in tow) should plan on $50 + for an outing.

John's Incredible Pizza Beaverton Oregon

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