This is a short and (not so) sweet review.  I was intrigued by the packaging and photo, but unimpressed with the product.  The Private Selections brand (a house brand for Kroger affiliated stores) Marble Hearth Pizza, with pepperoni and roasted garlic didn’t have much going for it.  While the crust was OK, and the presence of the roasted garlic “felt”, after that, the pizza fell down.  Bland sauce, non-distinguishable pepperoni, high price point.

For the same money, I could have purchased 4-5 Totino’s or Jeno’s economy pies, and been just as happy. #Fail.  Won’t purchase again.

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Mrs. Burgerdogboy came back from an outing with her pals at ScarletGirl.com, with a most unusual rave – no, not the latest in intimate playthings for couples, but rather a tip on a pizza her husband must try!

So Sunday nite she urged us out the door as the punctuation for a week we have both been suffering from the Portland winter crud sickness – either as a very loving jesture or in fact as an excuse to pick up some ice cream – the cure all for any known feminine malady.

We motored over to Uncle John’s Market in Burlingame, long the destination of Portland pizza whisperers, but heretofore unvisited by Portland’s leading “pizza expert.” (Moi).

So here’s the drill.  There is a strictly take-out pizzeria inside this neighborhood market, offering slices or one-sized (x-large) pies to go, with your choice of toppings.

The mistress of Scarletgirl had recommended the pie as a thinner crust rendition of typical NY pizza, a two-handed slice, and she was spot on in both her description, and her understanding of what Burgerdogboy likes.

We grabbed a single slice of pepperoni for $2.75, and both enjoyed noshing on it on our way to ice cream land.

It’s thinner than typical NY pie, bordering on a cracker-thin, crispy slice, with nice cheese bubbles and a little char on the crust.

I grabbed a take-out menu, as it’s near to impossible to find details (or a phone number) for this neighborhood gem online.

For a quick slice in SW Portland, hit up Uncle John’s, or call ahead and order a large pie to go, or to enjoy al fresco (in your car) as we did!

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Was home sick, decided to treat myself for lunch.  “Feed a cold, feed a fever, feed a hangnail,” my ma used to say.

So I mulled over my delivery options and opted for Tigard Pizza Kitchen.  I have about five delivery options at the noon hour for my sector, so why Tigard?   One of the very few places I have found in Portland that offers sliced green olives as a topping, and that’s one of my toppings of choice.

I used d-dish.com for delivery, which adds a wallop to the price of a pie.  This medium, with delivery and tip, topped $30.   That’s a chunk of change for pizza.

But to the meat of the matter.  This pie suits my taste.  It’s a little more doughy than I prefer, but acceptable.  Real cheese, mild sauce, and hand pulled chunks of Italian sausage.   Those joints that use “crumbles” I cross off my list.

We’ve been into TPK once before, and in addition to pizza, they have a full line of Middle Eastern foods, including some great hummus.

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It’s going to be an enigma until the day I die – the frozen pizza industry in the US is dominated by a few big players that probably account for 99% of all frozen pizzas sold; and then there is Trader Joe’s, which might account for – a miniscule proportion, yet their product stands alone for quality and taste.  Why can’t the big guys make a pizza that tastes LIKE PIZZA?   Trader Joe’s can.

I’ve previously reviewed some of their offerings, like their mushroom flatbread,  Pizza Olympiad, and their “French style” flatbread.  All superb.

Their Pizza Margherita, made in Italy, is a straight-up cheese pie, topped with Mozzarella and Grana Cheeses.

Check out the exotic ingredient list:  flour, water, salt, yeast, oil, tomato, herbs, spices, and cheese.  That’s right, no extenders, preservatives, things that come from a lab.  Pure food.  Pure deliciousness.

The 15 oz pie is done in 8 minutes.  The crisp is crusty, the cheese full-flavored.

All of the TJ’s pizzas I have tried are imported, either from France or Italy.  A there isn’t a single one of them that hasn’t reminded me of some special meal I have had in those respective countrys.  Great job, TJ.

The “big guys” could learn a  thing or two from you!

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Back in the day, before there were national chains that offered TNB, there was a local one in my home town.  It was next door to a place that sold soda by the case, in a myriad of flavors, with their own label on it.  I don’t remember the names of either place.

Every week, I get Papa Murphy’s coupons in the mail, they come on Tuesdays with some other postal flyers.   They are usually a better deal than any of the other chains, today it was $10 for a large 5 meat stuffed pie.

This pizza has the usual cheese, sauce, and is topped with pepperoni, sausage, Canadian bacon, and the other kind of bacon, then a second crust is placed on top of that, and some more sauce, cheese, and ground beef is sprinkled atop the outer crust.

I swear this puppy weighed in at 5 pounds, making it a terrific value.  It could feed a large family, I am sure. (I was only good for two small slices, which still blew my carb allowance for the day).

Papa Murphy’s supplies their pies on a disposable baking tray, so all you have to do is follow the instructions, 425, center rack, 25-30 minutes, take it off the tray and place directly on the rack after 20 for a crispier crust.

It’s been eons since I had a Papa Murphy’s, and I have to say, for the “value chains”, this is my new bestest favorite.   The crust was crispy, there is tons of cheese, mild sauce, and it is crammed full of processed pork products.

Below are pix of the pie uncooked, cooked, and of a slice.  The side view of the slice shows the ample ingredients.

I don’t know why I haven’t picked these up more often. I will  in the future.

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American fast food outlets have long offered “bundled meals” at their overseas franchise outlets, but they have been slow to roll out in the U.S.

Pizza Hut has recently unveiled their “Big Dinner Box” at U.S. stores, and at $19.95,  I think it’s a real value for an impromptu family meal, game day, or if your moochy relatives stop by unannounced.

The “Big Dinner Box” is comprised of two medium topping pan style pizzas (you cannot change the crust, at least online), five breadsticks with marinara sauce (you can upgrade to cheesesticks for more $), and 8 wings with your choice of both flavor and one dipping sauce.

I order delivery from Pizza Hut on occasion, and my pie of choice is the thin crust meat lovers, which I find to be satisfactory and a relatively good value.  They rarely make a mistake on my delivery orders, and last nite was not an exception, the dinner box came on time, and as ordered, presented at the door by a very attractive young woman delivery person, whom I am sure endures a whole gaggle of inappropriate comments her entire shift.  (“But I didn’t order a pizza!”).

The contents of the box were hot and as advertised.

Toppings are “the thing” for me with pizza, and I pretend to watch carbs, or “pan style” would not be my choice, but that’s what was offered, and what I received.

If I were running the shift, or the executive kitchen at Pizza Hut, I’d suggest cooking the pans a little longer, they were a little too doughy for my taste.   And I would suggest offering different crusts for the Big Dinner Box, even if I had to pay extra.

This offering will quite handily feed a family of four, I would suggest, Mrs. Burgerdogboy and I barely made a dent in it.

Order yours for delivery or pick up online at Pizzahut.com.

Pizza Hut Big Dinner Box

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A tale of two different generations, a couple of empires, and the son of Italian immigrants.

Jeno Paulucci died last week. The name might not mean much to you, but it should. A Northern Minnesota entrepreneur, Jeno started numerous food companies, built them up, sold them, and started some more.

He was the leading citizen of my home town, Duluth, Minnesota.

Born in Hibbing, Minnesota, iron mine country, Jeno started his career in the food industry working for the family grocery store. During the 1940s, Jeno developed the “Chun King” line of cook at home Chinese foods – by the early 60s, it was bringing in $30 million and a year, and he sold it to RJ Reynolds in 1966 for $63 million dollars. He was in his mid 40s.

Chun King had a variety of products, like canned “chop suey” and crispy chinese noodles.

This was my first introduction to “Chinese” food, actually, as Duluth had no Chinese (or any other ethnic ) restaurants at the time.  My mother would heat the chop suey in a sauce pan and serve it over the crispy noodles.  She also would, on occasion, serve other things over those noodles which we won’t go into here.  (Hint, as with many Minnesota family dinners, it involved a can or two of “Crema” soup!). (When I lived in China for 8 years, I discovered…..<you fill in the blanks> LOL).

Jeno’s other local enterprise was “Jeno’s”, maker of frozen pizzas, and inventor of “pizza rolls.”   Jeno’s was a huge employer in Duluth, and he constantly bragged about “employing the unemployable,” and to an extent, that was true.  A large portion of the workforce in the food plant were workers who probably would not qualify for many ‘traditional’ jobs.

He was a huge philanthropist in the city, as was his wife, and today one will find buildings and parks with the Paulucci name imprint.

But his kind side was balanced by a “tough as nails” business approach, and when the city wouldn’t bow to his frequent demands for concessions of one type of another, he would threatened to move the operations out of town, and eventually, he did.

Paulucci sold the Jeno’s brand to Pillsbury (now part of General Mills) in 1985 for $135,000,000, and they merged it into their Totino’s operation.

And here I digress for a moment.  Rose Totino owned a hole-in-the-wall pizzeria in North Minneapolis, back in the day. Rose developed a take-out frozen pizza, selling out to Pillsbury, and becoming a VP at her acquirer.

Years later, as an ad salesman in Minneapolis, Totino’s was my account, and it was in the hands of a company called Paragon Advertising.   It was my day to make a pitch for my radio station, and I was always looking for ways to make an impression on a client.  That day, I donned a chef’s outfit, picked up a pile of pizzas from the original Totino’s pizzeria, and wheeled them into the conference room at Paragon.  I got the buy. (BTW, the pizzeria pies in no way resembled the recipe for the frozen ones, then or now).

Fast forward.  Totino’s and Jeno’s still exist and thrive, though strictly at the budget end of frozen pizza choices.  You can frequently find them on sale for about a buck or so,  they are small (@ 10 ounces), thin crust, crispy pizzas.  The Totino’s box claims they are “America’s best selling frozen pizza” and they might just be.

They require 13-15 minutes in a conventional oven (they are not microwavable).

They have mastered the “crispy crust” over the years, which is my personal preference.  The toppings tend to be diced bits of meat, today’s “combination” includes “sausage, pepperoni, and pepperoni seasoning.”  The meats are chicken and pork recipes.

They’re ok products to feed the kids for a weekend snack when you need something hot and quick.  Though if your children are on fat or salt-restricted diets, you can find healthier choices.

Not content to rest on his laurels, Jeno went on to create Michelina’s, one of the world’s largest ‘heat and eat’ meal companies, with a wide variety of entrees.

And since he always regretted selling the pizza rolls, and because eventually his non-compete (I assume) ran out, Michelina’s is even in that segment today, but they are called “snack rolls.”

They even have a pizza or two.

The world will miss Jeno, as will Duluth.

Totino's Frozen Pizza - Unbaked

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Picked up the massive 42 ounces sausage pizza at Safeway the other nite.  At 7.99, a real “cost per ounce” bargain.  This is a medium crust pizza, with ample toppings.  The sausage bits are larger than most frozen pies, and because this pizza is not frozen, it bakes faster than a frozen pie.

I added pepperoni, olives,  and extra cheese on half, which of course, drove my investment way up.   But Mrs. BDB eschews cooked pepperoni, and I try and defer to her tastes on occasion, tho she doesn’t care much for pizza in general.

Other posts on Signature Cafe items on the site.

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Target Stores has developed their own in-store brand for many foods carried in the grocery section – the brand name is Archer Farms.

Last nite we were picking up a few pre-holiday items, and by impulse, I grabbed the frozen “Sicilian Style Thin Crust Pizza.”

The further description offered on the box front states “Genoa salami, capicola ham, and Italian sausage.”

While there are many Archer Farms products which are ”natural” or certified Organic, this product does not fit into that category, and allergen information states clearly the product contains wheat, soy, and milk.

The Archer Farms product closely resembles California Pizza Kitchen’s “Sicilian Style” frozen pie, in terms of ingredients, appearance, texture and taste. (CPK’s variety includes more herbs than Target’s.

There are two things immediately obvious with the Archer Farm’s product, first, of course, being the price difference – it’s  couple of bucks less than the CPK offering.

Archer Farm’s pie has (by the eyeball measuring method), more toppings.  The label tells us that the meat toppings on the Target pizza are all pork.

This is an “ultra” thin crust pizza, ‘cracker-crispy” throughout, and bakes quickly (9-10 minutes) in a conventional oven.  The sauce is slightly on the sweet side, and I enjoyed the meat toppings immensely, especially the large format pieces of sausage, and the salami.

Fennel was a detectible presence, and that’s one of my favorite sausage flavors.

At the price, less than $5, it’s a very good value in frozen pizza.

If you enjoy thin crust, meat topped frozen pies, Archer Farm’s Sicilian Style is a good bet.  Now appearing at many Target Stores near you. (Locator).

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Food companies: Americans need your help right now. We’ll make it up to you later, we promise. Seems like every time I go into a grocery store, which is 3-4x weekly, everything is up another dollar. Seriously? Yes, we know your costs are up, but aren’t you taking advantage just a wee little bit?

I for one, think so. Can’t you ease back on the profits for a year or two? Can’t you make this promise to us? We’re hurting, if you haven’t heard. $10 of gas is enough to get us to the next gas station. Turkeys that used to be free with minimum purchases at this time of year, are now only offered at “less per pound.” But $25 for the average turkey? Are you kidding me?

I wonder how many Americans are going to “celebrate” Thanksgiving over dollar menus at fast food outlets?

Tomorrow we are going to give thanks for our country, our faith, our families, our friends. You’ll probably be giving thanks for banner profits and dividends.

I’m all for making money. I wish I was. For the most part, I’ve had a very fortunate life. Now our family is struggling just to keep the roof over our heads and the lights on.

It’s not funny. But you know what? Our family has it a lot better than a lot of people, this I know for sure.

$60 – $75 dollars used to feed a family for a week. Now it buys a couple of bags of groceries, a few meals, some staples. God forbid we don’t get sick or need meds, then the grocery money would go to that.

I am calling on food companies, at least one of you, to make a stand. Roll back prices. Be transparent, at least. Tell us you are doing everything you can do to be helpful in this difficult time.

Manufacturers, slash prices. Grocery stores, don’t offer us bogus bullshit BOGOs which work out to the average every day price of the item, anyway.

Give us something to be TRULY thankful for tomorrow, and in the year to come.

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