Portland, OR – Joe’s Burgers (Downtown)

Joe's Burgers PortlandHmmm, where to begin this one? Where to end. Shall I write a couple hundred words about Joe’s? Or simply (spoiler alert) “Meh.”

I was running around downtown today when I spotted the latest location of Joe’s, which started as a “kiosk” type operation at the fancy pants Bridgeport Mall, and although people urged me to try it, I never got to it.  Every time I go to Bridgeport, and pass the burger stand, I’m either on my way into or out of the cinema.   He has another location at his former Italian dining estab on BHH, but I don’t get over that way much either.  Bored yet?  I’m am.

I sauntered (sashayed?) in to the downtown location and was promptly greeted by the counter person;  the place was “moderately’ busy for a weekday lunch period, but I was the only one ordering.   Joe’s menu is spartan – burgers, dogs, rings, fries, shakes.   If there are topping options, neither I, nor anyway else who has read the menu, is aware of them, and the counter people aren’t coughing up any suggestions either.

I went with the regular burger, “Oregon all natural beef”, iceberg lettuce, tomato and sauce.   I could see by the pile of packages in the corner they use locally baked Franz buns, as well.

I was not asked if I wanted any other condiments, if any where available, or how I wanted it prepared.  I was told that it would be ready in ‘six or seven minutes.’  A burger with a side of fries clocked in at $6.75, I could have added a soda for another 50 cents I was informed.

I wiled away my time sitting at the counter facing the street, and the sandwich was done in less than the estimated time.

Like In N Out (I am not comparing, I am saying ‘in the style of’) Joe’s hopes that a bunch of produce a glob of sauce (both top and bottom bun) will disguise the paper thin patty, cooked into the realm of oblivion.

The fries were hot, crispy shoestring style, lightly salted.

The burger sauce was a variation of the standard secret sauce (thousand island-ish).  (Why doesn’t anybody have a truly SECRET sauce?)

I’m not a fan of In N Out.  Fatburger also employs a similar style patty, well done, crispy on the edges, and for some reason, I like theirs.

I wish Joe all the success in the world, I know how hard the hospitality business is, and I’m sure he will prosper for awhile.

But like one of Portland’s other “faves” at the moment, “Little Big Burger,” all I can say is (yawn).   As always, this is MY opinion.  You may find Joe’s to be the perfect burger for you, and I urge you to try it!

Sorry Joe, for me,  no go for the dough.

Joe's Burgers Portland Oregon

If that thick pink slab was meat instead of ‘mato….I’d be happy!


Joe's Burgers Portland Oregon

Why yes, that IS a bag of Moonstruck Chocolates for Mrs. BDB!

Joe's Burgers (SW 4th/Morrison) on Urbanspoon

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